A Detox We Can All Use

The truth is, I’ve written this blog numerous times.

Not the exact words you’re going to read here, but the concept of it; the key message behind it.

I’ve written it numerous times over the past year. Written and never posted.

Why?

Because this topic has always hit home for me.

It hits home in a way that I struggle to bring to the surface.

Judgment

It can be nasty, dark, ugly.

Judgment can get us in a tangled mess of things that were never meant for us.

Judgment has caused bad days, broken or hurt friendships, heartache, guilt, and a bunch of other nasty emotions we don’t need in our lives.

But the reality is, we all deal with it. Most of us encounter it to some degree on a daily basis.

Think about it:

The car someone drives

The clothes someone wears

How someone acts in a meeting

What someone said

How they said it

What someone chose to post on social media

People’s career choices

People’s dreams

People’s opinions

Ugh. Seriously.

Judgment comes about all the time about all kinds of things.

Honestly just thinking about it makes me heavy with emotions that don’t feel good.

And that’s not my vibe, right? I’m a light worker. And light workers shouldn’t be spreading that negativity.

But the truth is. No one is invincible. We all have our days and moments of struggle. We’re all human.

Our problem isn’t that we encounter judgment, our problem is how we react to it.

My girl Gabby wrote about judgment beautifully in her most recent book The Judgment Detox. I knew based on loving her past work that I needed her book the day she posted about it. I pre-ordered both her book and journal the day I heard about it. That way on release day it was on my front step ready for me to dive in.

I was so excited to start reading, I jumped right in and was obsessed. I read half the book in one night and caught myself talking about it to many different people, sharing the perspective I was gaining.

But what followed surprised me.

Honestly I hit a funk and I couldn’t seem to finish it.

Those who know me best know this is so not like me.

And trust me, it wasn’t because the book isn’t good.

In fact it’s the polar opposite.

It is so good that it started hitting home. It hit home deep.

I quickly realized I needed to spend time with it.

I found myself truly studying the words of the book instead of just reading. And more importantly, I found myself practicing what I was learning.

The core of what Gabby teaches is to realize that when we judge others, we’re really judging a disowned part of our own shadow. When we resent or dislike something in another person, it’s typically a reflection of something we dislike in ourselves or a deep wound we are unwilling to heal. It can be a void you haven’t filled yourself or something you may be longing for. No matter what, it’s a trigger to your emotions.

Digging into this more I started to do a lot of self-reflection. I’d make note throughout the day of moments I experienced myself in judgment. Maybe it was something I said to family, friends or co-workers, something I did, or even how I felt after seeing someone’s post online.

And you know what I found out?

Every single time, if I studied it long enough, Gabby’s words rang true.

It was powerful to come to grips with and it has taught me a lot about self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. Even on the seemingly smallest scale.

What I have found most powerful though, is that my worst area of judgment isn’t of others. In many ways, it is what I find to be the worst kind of judgment; Self judgment.

It’s hard to witness and hard to swallow. But by being aware, I’m now able to witness the judgment, accept that it isn’t what I want, and turn to love. It’s a journey I’m on, and one I will continue to work on.

If you’ve taken the time to read this far, I encourage you to do some self-reflection as well.

Start simple. When you catch yourself judging, recognize it. And without judging yourself for how you’re feeling, think about why you’re feeling the way you are.

At the core, what’s happening? What’s setting a trigger?

And after you’ve recognized that, let it go and choose love.

You’ll feel lighter and happier for it.

Trust me.

So at the end of the day, why have I waited so long to post something about this topic?

I’ve thought about this a lot, and it comes down to the fact that I caught myself judging my writing. Judging whether or not I’m depicting the message I want to get across in the best light. Caught in self judgment; the nastiest type.

But that’s not happening anymore. Here’s to saying peace to self judgment.

To recognizing when judgment both of others and of myself hits, and accepting that’s not the way I’m going to roll.

I encourage you to do the same.