What Eulogies Have Taught Me

A little over a month ago I sent the following message to a dear friend of mine. I needed someone to help ground me before delivering yet another emotional message to a heartbroken church.

“Soul sister share for a moment: One just wouldn't think a eulogy is something you would deliver often in life.

Most people go through life never delivering one. Some perhaps, never even hearing one.

How is it that, at the age of 27 and within less than a years’ time, I've written and delivered two already, and on Thursday will be delivering another one on my friend’s behalf.

How is this so?

It's beautiful and painful all at the same time. 💗”

The past year has been a growth year for me, both spiritually and mentally. Love and loss continues to teach me more about Faith and Life than I've ever known before. I’ve learned how to no longer fear death, and instead respect God’s plan; for it’s far bigger than what any of us may think we have in store.

Throughout the past year we lost staples in our lives just as many people have. During that time I was uniquely blessed to be asked to deliver three eulogies.

In many ways the process of writing was actually harder than delivering the message itself, because the way I see it, the message isn’t about yourself or your relationship with that person. It's about honoring their life with a message that touches every soul at the ceremony.

As I’ve spent time reflecting on what this experience has taught me, a few things have stuck out the most:

Life is short

It sounds so incredibly cliché but it's true. Whether you live until you're 90, you’re in your mid 30's, or barely out of diapers, it doesn’t matter; People are never ready to see you go.

Seriously friends -- Get more comfortable with taking chances and making mistakes instead of saying “what if?” Take the trips and enjoy the moments. We all have a lot going on and life will always be busy, but make sure it is busy doing things that you love with the people you care about.

When your day comes, make sure you can rest easy with a smile on your face knowing you were doing exactly what it is you wanted to be doing. We never know how much time we have left so embrace every single day.

Your career and the size of your bank account will not be how people remember you

While I wish everyone the best for their own goals and dreams, Lord knows I have them too, never forget what's at your core.

It's the people you've impacted; the lives you've touched.

While I sincerely hope you are able to do that through your work, never get so caught up working that you forget to make a life.

No one will stand up at a podium and talk about how much money you made. But they will talk about how you made them feel, and the impact you had on other people’s lives.

The truth is, you can always work. And you can always make money. Focus on building memories and making a difference in people’s lives instead of building a title or a label.

Unless you’ve taken the time to ask, you likely have no idea what’s going on in someone’s life

This one may have been the hardest to swallow. How often do you ask someone how they are doing? And not just asking to ask, but to hear and understand; to care. I honestly can’t tell you how many times I struggled through conversations and meetings throughout the past year when no one asked.

And I honestly can’t tell you how many times when I did ask someone, they broke down and said thank you for asking. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here.

I’m hands down guilty of not doing this enough, but I’ve been making it a point to be a far better friend and co-worker than I ever have been before.

Take time to ask, take time to listen, take time to care.

Faith will get you anywhere

Whether you're most comfortable speaking to the Universe, God, Spirits, Angels, quite frankly it doesn't matter to me. Just believe in something bigger than yourself and always know that Faith will get you anywhere.

It will get you up to the podium in front of hundreds of people to confidently share a message you've yet to get through without losing it.

It will get you through the pain. The incredibly different stages of grief we all go through after a loss.

And hopefully, if you believe enough, it will help you to see the beauty in it all. That you start looking at loss, not as losing someone, but as having been blessed with the gift of having known them. And knowing that whoever you lost is still always with you, just no longer present.

I think it goes without saying friends, we never know what's going to happen today, tomorrow or any other day. So make the best of it all. We all have good things and bad things going on in our lives, but we are all simply a mindset away from living a beautiful life. You've been blessed with today, make the most of it.

God Bless